I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
