and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
