why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The maid of honor just puked.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
