She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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