You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
