i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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