my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My feet surprised me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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