turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
