Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize