When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
