Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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