Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dicks are not precious.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
