Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
