Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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