In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
