Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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