Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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