How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
