jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
