Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
