I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
