I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
