Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
