I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
