if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
