I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
