4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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