Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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