I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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