After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
