didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
