Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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