We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize