Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
