They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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