I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize