Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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