Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
