ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
