i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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