So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
