Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
