Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
