I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
