butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
