She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
