I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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