Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
