I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
