I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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