Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Randomize
