My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize