Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
