That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
