dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
