C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
