How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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