Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
