I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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