Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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