How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
