she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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