Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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