Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
